So since I have not posted in while I was thinking back to some things I have seen, witnessed and done in the past.
I was driving during the summer time. Was 103 outside and I happened to pass a woman standing on the road waiting for the bus fanning herself furiously with a paper. She was dressed in Jeans and pull over hoodie. Obviously the common sense bunny did not visit her this year.
During the winter I had a girl walk into the store I was at complaining about how cold it was. She was wearing a hoodie and booty shorts with the word Juicy across the back. Good thing is did not say MENSA.
Then there was the time that I was driving and saw a woman looking at her watch, she was standing below a bank sign that was alternating the time and temperature. Sherlock Homes would be jealous of her powers of acute observation.
When I was a cashier a man came in and placed all his purchases on the belt. Bag of doughnuts, chips, cookies, ice cream, cake and a diet pepsi.Because we have to cut down on those pesky carbs and sugars!
Was working remotely on a users computer to set up a backup software and moused over a folder named “research”. Customer promptly told me not to open that folder and do not worry about backing it up.. this was his “personal research”. To this day I have never even tried to look into that folder for fear of a Ark of the Covenant scene coming about!
Was at a local McDonalds when an older lady sat down next to me with her cup of hot coffee and Ice cream cone. Because you always have to keep your tongue on it’s toes with temperature. On a side note, by the way she was going at that cone she must have a REALLY happy husband at home!
When I was younger my mom took me shopping with her to go pick up a dress for her party. Passing by the electronic department I noticed a game i was waiting for had finally come in stock. Asking her to stop and get it for me, she saud no she did not have time and needed to get her shopping done to be ready for the party next week. I was then forced to carry her dress and assorted makeup to the register while she looked for her checkbook.
Walking up to the cashier I finally snapped around and began on my unprepared mother. In a high stressed voice trying to sound like I was on the verge of tears I said “Mom I do not want to go to the party any more.. I am going to have to find new shoes or get shoes dyed to match this dress, find a purse. Then there is my hair and nails! This is going to be a nightmare! just forget it, I will tell him I do not want to go!”
The poor man behind the register just stopped and his mouth fell open. He looked at me then her. The look on her face was priceless. It went from pale white to fire engine red in 15 seconds.
Her only words were “Go get the (colorful metaphor) game and get your (colorful metaphor) (colorful metaphor)back here or I am leaving your (colorful metaphor) here! “ I think this is where the root of it all started.
Posted on June 3, 2011, in humor, life, stupid people and tagged alcohol, applications, bunnies, bunny, candy, farm animals, food, holiday, hospital, humor, hunting, irony, jobs, karma, kids, kinky, laws, life, men, news, police, questions, scaring, security, shoes, stealing, stupid, technology, women, WTF. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.