Slow Stupid person day


Fun things to do at WalMart. These are things I have witnessed or done LOL. I am not saying which is which.

Ride full sized bikes around IN the store in the toy section and randomly crashing into displays.

Going to the toy section to look for a pirate hat and sword then to the panty section for a Gstring. The fitting room lady has a 50/50 likely hood of laughing at you offering to plunder her booty.

Pringles can bowling. Once you strike you can’t stop!

Shopping cart racing in the parking lot. (spoiler alert, carts do not have brakes!)

Tuna can Hockey, however may want to make sure it is not Canadian league rules or you might get cross checked into the shelves.. and well then you are playing dominoes. lol

 

Mullet Counting. Really fun but hard unless you live in the south or florida! Yes I know Florida is in the south, shut up!

Pretending to be Seals in the shoe section!  If you cannot figure this out, stop reading and never come back!

Easter holiday fun. Usually without fail WalMart always has some idiotic windup walking animal (bunny, chicken, moose… yes I have seen moose).  Get a bunch of friends and wind them all up and let them all go at the same time. Winner gets to do victory lap around store!

Call the operator and ask for prices on left handed screw drivers and rechargeable fuses! ( ok I will admit I did this once, did it at Best Buy too LOL)

Filling a cart with a shovel, 5×7 area carpet, hacksaw and bag of lime. Wait till you see an employee and mumble loudly “I’ll show her how much I like frozen waffles!” (insert your own substitute if you like)

Ask one of the floor associates if Crisco is a good substitute for KY since they stopped carrying the gallon sized.

Find the mousiest and most timid cashier you can find and put down a box of Magnum condoms and then look at her and smile. Do your Joey impression “How you doin’?” ( for those of you born after the Friend’s era.. he is the horny Italian and NOT one of the Jersey Shore!)

Finally get on the PA system and announce free Pokemon cards and Silly bandz! One word.. Stampede!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted on June 29, 2011, in humor, life, stupid people and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I do the “wind up toy” thing around Christmas, in the toy store, where the employees are most likely to be sick to their stomachs of hearing whatever stupid song a large display of stuffed/singing toys may sing or say.

    Go to display, and, quickly squeeze all hands/buttons and make those little mo-fo’s all sound off in an excruciating jumble of whatever the hell they’re saying.

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