Shopping online.. again! lol


So as always I saw this random weird item on Facebook and well it just went down hill from there. lol

First item up for bid is Survival straps!  

 

What are survival straps you may be asking yourself?

Survival Straps are stylish bracelets & gear that can help you survive whatever life throws at you. They are worn around the world as a fashion statement, but also as a symbol of strength, honor, survival, and the greatness of American production. They are made in America from super strong military spec paracord which gives them a secondary purpose. In an emergency situation, unravel the bracelet to deploy the paracord to help get you out of a jam.

 

Because you know… you are always getting yourself into situations like MacGuyver or Indiana Jones where Paracord rope is going to help you out! I can see now a situation where you are fighting with a emotionally unstable Ex and viola you now have the capability to jump out of the window and scale down the building like Batman!

 

Next! it a Pet GPS… I think

 

Tagg – The Pet Tracker™ is the first product from Snaptracs, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Qualcomm Incorporated, the world leader in mobile technologies. Our mission is to make people’s lives easier and safer. Tagg – The Pet Tracker, was born out of our love of dogs and it uses advanced GPS and location technology to help people find their lost pets.

 

Remember the good old days when there was that silly invention that NO ONE would think to catch on called a leash!?  How in the fuck did we go from that to putting a leash on the damn kids (not a bad idea mind you) and putting GPS tracking hardware on the animals!?

 

Next! Ever been stuck in a situation where you cannot for the life figure out the perfect gift? Well here you go, the yodeling pickle!

 

 

approximate dimensions: 5-1/4″ (13.3 cm) long

A plastic pickle that yodels its little heart out at the push of a button.

Batteries included. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD. SMALL PARTS. NOT TO BE USED AS SEX TOY!

Do I really need to say anything here?? lol

Ever have an accident and needed a clean pair of underwear? Well here you go!

Unfortunately does NOT come in thong! What would be unfortunate is if these were in your pants when you were hit by say a riot water cannon(it could happen)! How hard would it be to explain why you suddenly have soggy underwear in your pocket?

I do not know about you guys… but when I get home I know I like to sink into a nice warm bath and trip my balls off! 

 

Entertaining some rather backwards hillbilly like company?  Well here is a dandy idea to keep your party going and make them feel right at home!

 

 

The fact it says as a disclaimer “not anatomically correct makes me feel they have had A LOT of consumer complaints wanting their money back! lol

 

 

Next is one of those “If you liked that item you might like this as well” suggestions.  Honestly I cannot even find the words to make a smart ass comment here because I am laughing so hard… so I just highlighted it for you!

 

 

Last but not least a gift I can totally love getting! It really is the gift that keeps on giving!

 

 

 

The highlighted above makes me only think one thing! We are going to Kentucky Fried chicken all you can eat buffet! (think about it kids)

 

 

 

 

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Posted on April 10, 2012, in humor, life, stupid people and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. littlemissemmie

    I just.. wooooow. xD

  2. Well now I can see why all those inflatable sheep f*ckers were seriously bummed out! LOL

  3. I am SO getting the inflatable Judy for my 17 yr old son! He’s not old enough for the sheep yet, i think.

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