This is why you never bring me into personal conversations

So in talking with some co workers about possible legal scenarios involving a rabbit suit and flogging people with a 3 ft sex toy, I was reminded of a few conversations I was involved in many years ago.



The first of which involved my ex and her female cousin.  During the conversation her cousin mentioned that her and the penis of the week she was doing went to have sex a few days prior to this conversation and when they were applying her contraceptive “potion” ( I an not sure exactly what it was entirely) that she had a reaction that caused it to foam uncontrollably.

Of course my reaction to all this on being told,  “Beware of the rabid clam!”  Needless to say that made my ex laugh and her cousin cry. lol



A few years later I am in the break room when two females co-workers come in and start talking about sex.   The first female says to the other “You know I really wish when you are giving a guy head they would let you know when they are ready to blow! Like give you a thumbs up or pat you on the head or something!”


Needless to say my nickname for her going forward was TapOut!



Last but not least I created a situation with a female co-worker by getting a hold of her cel phone and replying to the first text I saw in her inbox.  I text “Fuck this day it taking forever to the point I need a drink! I cannot wait to get out of here and get a big stiff one in me!”


Needless to say her phone started blowing up from the gentleman that had received it offering to ply her with alcohol and other things.   She then proceeded to spend the entire rest of the day ignoring his texts and cursing everyone in the department and swearing she “would find out who sent this text to this creep who will not leave her alone!”. 

Needless to say I had to ask, “If he is a creep why did you give him your number?”






Posted on April 18, 2012, in humor, life, stupid people and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Hahahahaha, I heard “TapOut” went undefeated in her professional career.

  2. How can you not tell? Lol
    So glad i’m not a dude because I can’t stand women sometimes.

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