I am a product of my environment… that is my defense your Honor! lol

So as always I am allowed to roam free on the weekends and do stuff… lol

My friend Seth recently built a deck and asked if I would help stain it. So we got about halfway through when we run out of stain and are forced to go to the local home depot. While we are there I ask one of the workers if acetone would be a better cleaning agent then paint thinner for stain.  I explained we were outside staining a deck.  He then replied that it was a good option and added “You should get some masks to avoid fume exposure!”.  Again I explained a nice as possible (hard for me) that we were OUTSIDE and I think with the wind this would not be an issue. “Well you should get goggles and heavy duty gloves!”  I said in response “I have heavy duty rawhide gloves so I am good there and I do not plan on pouring the acetone in my eyes unless Seth is wearing a thong!”  With that I left a very shocked worked and went back to the basket.

As we were walking through the store I noticed this display.

Now I may not be a parent yet, but am I the only one thinking leaving an unattended drill laying around might not be the smartest idea? (that is a security tag on the bottom, not a restraint) I can see some hyperactive kid running around drilling things and screaming “Look I am bob the builder!”

As we are leaving I noticed the rack of magazines Half of the rack is filled with different seasonal ones like “Southern Cookies” and “Homestyle cakes and pies”.  Dead center of all these food magazines is one entitled “DIABETES!” in bold yellow letters!  I said something to Seth about this and the cashier died laughing saying she never realized that!

We get everything stained and done. The final product looked like this! (no those legs are not mine lol)

The next day I go to meet my friend Jen for lunch at the nearby Red Robin.  The waitress asks for our order “I would like the Tavern Double Cheeseburger!’ she then replies “You want that with one patty or two?”  Dumbfounded by her question all I could do it stare at her and finally respond with “ummm two please!?” while thinking “Do people actually order a double cheeseburger with one patty?”

Later on my fiancee and I decide to go shopping for Thanksgiving where I see all sorts of interesting goodies.

While walking down the bread aisle I see this contraption.

At what point did parents become so lazy they have to have a plastic dog shaped wiener slicer?  What happened to using a knife?

Nothing too funny about this, it just cracks my lady up so I thought I would share with all of you! lol

Hmmm nothing like making a derogatory description of gay people into kids shoes! (sighs)

Oooo look Child rearing tools! LOL  Ok Seriously.. who here was at least not hit with the spoon?!

LOL  Look it is a wine for me!  (pity I do not drink lol)

OK seriously people… bad enough we are losing twinkies, now you have to go fucking up pringles?!

As we are leaving I looked over and noticed someone threw away a perfectly good bulldozer! lol

So we stop to get something quick to eat before we go home at Mc Donalds

We watch a couple hipster boys get out of a BMW and come inside.  I happen to look while I was waiting for the food and noticed this huge hole in the ass of his pants.  I guess he is wearing ratty skinny jeans “ironically” after climbing from behind the wheel of a 40k car.

Also I noticed people filling those tiny condiment cups up and then throwing them away.  I walk over after seeing this a few times I see why.

Why is the hot mustard in the KETCHUP dispenser and then relabeled?!


Posted on November 22, 2012, in humor, life, stupid people and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Okay, I’m absolutely serious right now, when I tell you that this is the most amusing and entertaining post I’ve read on WP today, and I really enjoyed it. And I started early today, too! I can tell, because it’s getting dark in the window behind my computer monitor… Otherwise I’d have no clue! Lol 🙂 But this was some really funny stuff here, and you’re clearly on top of your humor game with this post.

    I enjoyed all of it, but my favorite line was “I do not plan on pouring the acetone in my eyes unless Seth is wearing a thong!” which got a genuine able to be heard in the real world laugh out loud from me, and I think that if my wife and I ever go to one of those Caribbean beaches again, where there is a high infestation of European man thongs, I’m bringing some acetone with me! Not to throw in MY eyes, but to throw in the eyes of those dudes wearing the man thongs! Cause if they’re gonna make me wish I was blind, I just might get even by making them blind! They obviously can’t see very well anyway, or they would be able to see how hideously weird they look wearing a man thong! Lol 😀

    • Agreed! I really wonder what goes through their minds “Gee if only there was an article of clothing that made it look like I am hiding a couple of walnuts and a broken turkeys neck!”. Thank you again for all your kind words! I am glad I could make you laugh out loud!

  2. They’re trying to bring light up shoes back.. by calling them Twinkle Toes? What? ):

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