Have yourself a freaky little Christmas!


 

So this year we when out to do some shopping for Christmas early to avoid the idiots.  Needless to say I found all sorts of interesting things!

 

We start off our tour by going to get some Chinese. Not going to pretend to know about the Chinese culture… but I honestly do not recall there being a demon pig involved! lol

 

 

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We stop off at the store to get some groceries we are going to need for this week. When walking through the “premium” section I happened to notice this.

 

So… does this mean I can throw a cheese and win gummy party for all my pretentious friends?? LOL

Also was goes good with chocolate in the way or alcohol? Guiness or whiskey?

 

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Speaking of which.. WINE cures all that ails you!

Digestive issue drink wine!  Pain relief wine! Fertility treatment… drink wine!

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Next we walk out where I see this bumper sticker.  I personally think it is unfair to expect the victim to be unarmed! I think they should have a sporting chance to shoot back!

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Hmm by the way… the silicone tops feel good.. but they do not beat the good old homegrown all natural tops! I could just sit there all day and feel those tops!! *ahem*  ok moving on…

 

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OK I do not know about you, but I am thinking hot poclets is really trying to hard here! Seriously… a chili dog hot pocket? Be honest… look at the picture and tell me you would want to stick that nasty thing deep in your mouth and have it gush into it!  (damn you all natural tops making me think all naughty!)

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Dog food… biscuits….pet supplies… and the picture of a kid eating a cupcake… Someone did not stop and think… Hmm what does not fit here?

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So yeah… the next few finds speak volumes to many things wrong with the world and why many who have a moral compass may not be pointing true north LOL

So they made this into a board game… Does this mean there is a credit card machine as part of the game to buy farm cash from? LOL

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Good old fashion wholesome PUB trivia!  Made for age 12 and up! Jello shots sold seperately!

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So we go from drunken debauchery to binge eating.. lol.. Thats right kids… while mommy and daddy preach eating wholesome, gluten free, free range chicken flavored tofu, you can play this new game they give you for Christmas!

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and for the Trifecta! You can learn how to deftly hone your tradecraft of manipulaiton and truth avoidance! Yes parents now you can finally have something else to blame besides music, videogames and movies for your kids lying about who drank all the jagermeister during their game of “trivial pursuit”!

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You might be a redneck if you have a Santa riding a John Deere on your lawn! lol  

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Yes ladies and Gentlemen! That is a couple being arrested at a toys r us! Merry Christmas to everyone!!

 

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Even though this is a Santa Claus birdhouse… you have to admit this is kind of naughty looking… in a nice way! lol

 

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So… ever had the desire to decorate for the holidays in Studio 54 style! (look it up kids.. was a very popular club in the 70s with drunken orgies!)

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I am totally getting this to see if Santa will fill it up!  Side note.. a mixed reaction can sometimes be received when asking a lady if she has someone to stuff her stocking for Christmas!  I got 3phone numbers…. 2 face slaps and a request to never come back….

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Does not matter though… Everything is going to be OOOOOK!

 

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ok Ladies and Gents.. nurses are telling me it is time for my meds… do not want to be seeing any leprechauns riding unicorns into battle with the lollipop guild! So I will bid you adieu and hope you all have a safe and weird Christmas, new years and beaver shaving holiday!

 

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Posted on December 5, 2012, in humor, life, stupid people and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. You, my friend, have a keen eye for the stupid and ridiculous, and a talent for pointing it out in a humorous way. Which is a good thing, because I think we are so surrounded by what is stupid and ridiculous these days, that many people don’t even notice it anymore.

    I’ve always preferred the feel of all natural to silicone, and I always will – and since I’m married and my wife is all natural, she’d be the first to say that my preference better not ever change! And any “field testing” to determine if the feel of silicone in 2012 has been improved, is strictly forbidden! Lol – But I am still allowed to “watch” as long as my watching is not too frequent or obvious, and I still think that it’s just really unnatural when a woman’s breasts hardly move at all, while the rest of her body is doing some serious rocking.

    Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Bountiful Beaver Shaving! Lol 😀

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